"In Christ Alone"

Im sorry it has been so long since my last post. Our internet here is not very good right now. It goes in and out and is incredibly slow so doing anything is a study in patience. But we are making it alright, I feel pretty spoiled having such a good connection anyways as this is definitely not the norm for other missionaries. So truly this has been a blessing that I am truly appreciating right now.
Lately I have been thinking about what I will do when I come home. Its hard to believe that it has been so long already, but I will be coming home in a little over a month and that feels unreal. Every day I look all around me and think how I have really adapted to life here and am not so sure how I will adapt back into life at home. Im sure I will adapt quickly, as I adapted quickly here, but its hard for me to imagine having the many things I have at home because Im so used to going without. This includes having a choice in what to eat every day. How will I ever make such a monumental decision?! But truly I am looking forward to coming home, to see everyone I love so much and going on into the next phase of my life, wherever that may lead. God has a plan, and I am trying to wait on Him, although that also is a study in patience :)
Some observations....
It is mango season here, which brings out a whole new aspect to this compound, and even to the people in the villages. This is the time when the "Manga" becomes all that matters in life. The children have been watching for the mango's for months now, even before they were big enough to really see the children were calling out "Ashley, you see manga." So by the time it actually was the season, I am so tired of hearing this I just walk away shaking my head. The children will stand under a tree staring up into the branches just waiting for a mango to fall, and if one actually does it is a free for all wrestling match to get that mango. You would think these children were never fed in their lives! (By the way these children are incredibly well fed, so please dont worry about that). So now we have the older boys climbing up the trees shaking down the mangos to distribute to the children, but they climb so incredibly high it makes me so nervous! And Im not normally one to be an alarmist, but these limbs break by themselves from the weight of the mangos, let alone a practically full grown child! But all I can do is cringe and pray that there are no accidents. God is faithful and so far we have had none.
Another thought, here in Sudan they are not an emotional people. Joy or sadness, pain or anger they dont express these emotions in a manner we would normally recognize. So I find it a challenge to read the people, and it would only be a guess to know how they really feel about something. But on the rare occasion that they do show an emotion, like joy when playing with a child, it is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. Maybe we appreciate something more for the rarity of it.
Also, it is easier to like a child that likes you. I know this sounds like it would be a no brainer, but I really want to try to like all children. But the thing is, when we have children come into the clinic and immediately start crying in fear of the white person, I want to gnash my teeth and I dont want to spend much time with that child. I have to force myself to give that child just as much time as the child that smiles and laughs with me. I think this is probably quite natural, but I struggle a little more with it every time it happens, which is surprisingly often.
Anyways, those are my thoughts lately. Nothing too deep or philisophical, just common observations of life here. Easter is on Sunday, and I am looking forward to this. Our kids are going to do a presentation so that should be nice. I have been asked to sing again, so I am singing the song "In Christ Alone" because it tells the story of Christ's sacrifice so beautifully.
I want to leave you with a verse that is so simple and beautiful and really keeps me accountable to God's plan instead of my own.
James 4:13-15
"Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a town and spend a year there, doing business and making money." Yet you do not even know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, "If the Lord wishes, we will live and do this or that."
We do not know what tomorrow will bring, so we must leave it all in His hands. Trust and He will not lead us in the wrong direction.